I was driving across town today for work and got to thinking about my sobriety and the way things used to be.
I used to say about the work week that I wasn’t going to get much work done on Monday and I wasn’t going to get much done on Friday. Monday I was too fuzzy and hollow from the weekend to work much. Monday was Hangover Management Day. Friday was the Freakin’ Weekend and I knew walking into work in the morning that I was only one workday away from a whiskey and a beer.
It’s hard to imagine now what getting blackout drunk is like (the last time was about 5 months ago) but I used to get there almost every weekend. Without fail, things always got extra blurry on the weekends. That is a truly dangerous and insane way to spend a life and I did it willfully. Willfully! I’ve got all kinds of reasons not to drink. Anybody out there working on their own recovery can back me up on that. On different days it can be easy or hard to remember the different reasons, but today I’m not going to drink because I don’t want to miss another moment of my own life. There’s too much beauty, too much to be glad for, too much to thank God for to pick up the bottle. Today it’s an easy choice.